It’s been a very long while since I have posted and I’m hoping that all of you are doing well!
As you know, I am a teacher in training with intense workloads and duties, so I am excused and hope you don’t cast it off as pure laziness -cheeses-. Working in teaching has opened me up to very strange things about the workings of my brain, like the fact that the length in days from Monday to Friday will seem like weeks. Or that I won’t be able to recall what lessons I taught that week. I guess it’s maybe owed to the fact that school weeks are so packed with a variation of subjects and activities and dialogues with so many people that it’s very easy to lose track of the fine details. It’s also very easy to forget that you haven’t contacted friends for weeks.

Apart from that, how have I been? I’ve been doing great- provided that doesn’t take into account the multiple times I have been ill throughout my course or number of times I’ve had to raise my voice throughout the school day, to the point of physical exhaustion.
But nonetheless, the children are great .  I sometimes find myself staring at the them, adrift in thoughts about what lies ahead, and what stories will fill the blank pages in the book of their journey of life.
In case you envisioned me as gawking uncomfortably at the children- the staring is a momentary thing, often accompanied by a kind smile-so don’t worry.

As enjoyable as this profession can sometimes be, it can be very tough for someone who is highly insecure and critical such as myself. This is because it is a profession wherein assessments of your practice are elemental, whether they be self-assessments or peer-assessments or observations by the dreaded ofsted.
Anyway, only 4 months (more like 3 and half) to go before the end of my course (and Ramadhan!). I can worry about all that once I’ve got the qualification in hand, inshaAllah.

I really miss taking on personal creative projects and just being able to devote time to art without the thought of looming deadlines. It’s been so long that I fear my abilities may have deteriorated. Sometimes I get sudden bursts of creative inspiration that I need to release but struggle to. It looks and stays magical only in the confines of my mind, because the moment I try to convey it through pencil and paper- it loses its lustre. I do it no justice.

The clearest way to explain it would be journeying on the road to a luxury destination but struggling along the way, due to a rusty engine in the car. Frustrating and disheartening.
My engine needs some work and I think being more active on my blog will be a pivotal part of that.

Peace y’all

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